Yep, folks, it's another blog entry about a challenging-yet-victorious evening with my two young children.  What can I say?  I guess it's a topic with which I am thankfully becoming more familiar in my ongoing recovery from "Perfect Mother Syndrome."

So it was one of those nights: One of my children had been upset by something I had either done -- or not done --  which did not meet with his expectations, and I was doing my best not to react or buy into the power struggle.  It took a great deal of energy, but I resisted the temptation to fight with him.  Meanwhile, his brother was being easy-going and cooperative.  I was very grateful for him "going with the flow," which I had begun to believe was just more "his nature."

By the time bedtime arrived, I was exhausted.  After tucking in "Mr. Difficult" -- who had, incidentally, calmed down a great deal by that point -- I flopped myself on "Mr. Easy's" bed.  I found myself really wanting to thank him for being such an easy child, and so I began our conversation.

"Sweetie, do you know what I think is the BEST THING about you?"

And his response stopped me dead in my tracks.

"I don't know, Mommy, is it the way I know how to jump rope so well?"

I was floored.  Thank Goodness for what he said.  I just stared at him and blinked a few times.  And then, chimed in with, "Of COURSE that's it, darling.  I love you.  Goodnight."

I walked out of his room and was struck by an important insight.  I had almost pidgeon-holed my little guy.  If he hadn't stopped me with his innocent comment, I would have sentenced him to an identity as "the good kid" in the family.  And why, do you ask, would that have been a bad thing?

Well, maybe not necessarily "bad," but certainly limiting.  It occured to me that, first of all, in labeling one of them "the good kid," that would mean the other would automatically, in my thoughts and therefore, behavior, have to become "the bad one."  In one fell swoop I could have doomed my children to extremely limited ideas of WHO they were.  After that point, it would have only been a matter of time before these sweet little souls became self-fulfilling prophecies of these expected behaviors. 

Wow.  

It made me wonder about when I must have decided on the characteristics of my own identity...

"Outgoing,"    "Creative,"    "Hopelessly Unorganized,"    "Independent,"    "Sometimes Uninhibited,"    "Fun..."

Yes, I am all of those things.  But I wonder if I might also be a champion jump-roper, had I not given up on that a long time ago...