I had the most profound conversation with my son tonight.  I am in total awe that I have this little sage in my life.

Tonight, my seven year-old son got very angry after he didn't get something he wanted.  He acted really grumpy and belligerent for the next three hours, and this was a real test of my ability to practice all I have learned by studying "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Faye -- the key was to stay lovingly connected to the little guy, and not react.  I just kept setting limits, "loving him through it," the whole time, being firm and consistent with my boundaries and telling him what would "work" for me, and not feeling angry myself. 

He stayed at it for a grueling 3 hours, until just after I put him to bed.  I was exhausted.  When I tried to tuck him in, he wouldn't let me kiss him goodnight, and I told him that that was okay -- his choice -- no problem.  I told him I loved him even when he doesn't behave the way I wish he would, and I closed the door.

Five minutes later, he softly knocked on the door to my room and asked if he could come in, to apologize.  Of course, I said yes.  He sat down next to me and listed off about 15 things he had done this evening that he knew were not respectful or kind.  He said: "I'm sorry for talking disrespectfully to you at dinner Mommy, and I'm sorry for whining and not eating, and then fussing at you that I wanted dessert, and I'm sorry that I didn't do my homework and then later, got mad that I couldn't watch TV."  He was clearly restoring his integrity.  He really seemed to "get it," that his behavior had been his choice, and he was now taking responsibility for it.

Then, the conversation got even more incredible.  After I told him I totally forgive him, I said, "Sweetie, can you tell me anything about what you were feeling when you were doing all those things?"  And, he then admitted he had been angry about not getting to go to baseball practice because of the rain today. 

I said, "Wow.  That was 3 hours ago, buddy.  You have been acting like it is still happening all night, even though it happened at 5:40." 

He said, "Yeah, I know, Mommy.  Sometimes when I do that, it's like, a different person is in my brain.  It's like, I think really different, and I don't even feel the same, like I do right now.  Now, I just feel love for you, but then, I thought all kinds of mean thoughts like 'you're stupid' and 'you're not pretty' and 'I don't love you."  I then told him that sometimes I think really angry thoughts when I am mad.  Then, I asked him if he felt any one of the "Selves" in his mind were any more real than the other. 

He said "I know this is the real me, Mommy." and then, his eyes lit up.  He said, "The MEAN part of me who keeps being mad at stuff even 4 hours after it's over doesn't feel any love and he just wants to hurt people.  I wish he would just stay at school."  We both laughed, and I told him that everyone feels angry like that sometimes.   

And then, it got even more profound. 

My son then put my hand on his heart and his on mine, and he said, "Mommy, can we just close our eyes and feel the love that we feel inside our hearts?"  Of course, I was exploding out of my own skin with love for this little guy, and I answered a resounding "YES!"  So, we did.  We sat there for about a minute, just silently experiencing LOVE together, and then he said, "Mommy.  Can we tell each other what our love feels like?"  So, I went first.

I said, "Darling, my love for you grows in my heart until it is as big as my whole body, and then it fills my body up and grows as big as the world, and then it fills the world up and grows as big as the universe."  Then, my son replied, "Mommy, that's how big my love is for you, too.  You know, Mommy, if we popped that Big Love like a balloon over the whole universe, then everybody everywhere would get covered with it."  I was ready to just melt into a puddle.  The kid was slaying me!!!  The possibility of LOVE for the entire UNIVERSE?!?!?!? 

I said, "Yes, that's right!  Wouldn't that be awesome to cover the whole universe with that Big Love?" 

And then he said, "OOOOH, Mommy, I have a good idea.  If we wrapped that "Mean" part of me up in that Big Love, like a big blanket, then the Love would get all over him, and he couldn't stay mad anymore.  Then, we would have TWO TIMES POSSIBILITY, because my "MEAN self" would turn into the possibility of Love, too!" 

My sweet little guy had just described the very act of transformation itself -- the act of transforming the self-centered Ego state into a state of Love and Connection. 

I was stunned.  I sat there and just took this miracle in.  How could it be that at 7 years old, my son knows this?