Falling is Learning...
Posted by lizashaw at 2/10/2008 12:17 AM and is filed under Using pain to grow and develop your Self 
Have you ever noticed the best things that ever happen to you in your life, don't usually come without hard work? Long ago, I had a graduate school professor, Jack Mulgrew, who used to say "you're not really alive until you're sweating under your armpits!" Jack was right. I don't think life was meant to be easy. People are funny; we seem to go after comfort like it is the key to our survival. Yet in reality, if we get too comfortable, we become bored, restless, irritable and discontented.
So many clients end up in my office because of pain -- because their lives have become unmanageable and they need some relief from their own suffering. I understand this! I, too, have found the occasion to be sitting in a therapist's office, struggling with my own fears of sharing my life with a complete stranger, and desperately wanting to dump it all on someone, to leave all of my pain in the office and walk away happy, joyous and free...
Thinking back to last fall when my 6 year-old son learned to ride his two-wheeler bike without training wheels, I am reminded of the value of pain as a teacher in our lives. When my sweet little guy fell the first time, my husband ran over to console him, and after the tears and sniffles subsided, my son decided to get up his nerve to try again. My husband informed him that every time he fell, he would learn a little bit better about how to stay balanced on the bike. "Pay really close attention when you fall," he told him, "and you will be riding that bike in no time!"
And so, as he got back up on that two-wheeler, he began repeating this mantra out loud to himself, "Falling is learning... falling is learning... falling is learning..." He got up on that bike and after a few wobbley turns, my son was soaring all on his own! We cheered him on and I stood there, in awe of my beautiful little child's simple wisdom. Protected by his helmet, elbow and knee-pads, he faced his fear of being hurt by knowing that if he was, it would teach him. His desire to learn and have an adventure overcame his instinct to protect himself and stay "safe." This has since become a commonly heard story in my office with clients.
We can use my son's first bike ride to inform us on how to approach our challenges and adventures in life. Since that day, he has taken many spills -- most of them minor, but some of them more serious. Yet no fall has ever kept him down very long. He keeps learning and growing, and keeps getting back on his bike!
So many clients end up in my office because of pain -- because their lives have become unmanageable and they need some relief from their own suffering. I understand this! I, too, have found the occasion to be sitting in a therapist's office, struggling with my own fears of sharing my life with a complete stranger, and desperately wanting to dump it all on someone, to leave all of my pain in the office and walk away happy, joyous and free...
Thinking back to last fall when my 6 year-old son learned to ride his two-wheeler bike without training wheels, I am reminded of the value of pain as a teacher in our lives. When my sweet little guy fell the first time, my husband ran over to console him, and after the tears and sniffles subsided, my son decided to get up his nerve to try again. My husband informed him that every time he fell, he would learn a little bit better about how to stay balanced on the bike. "Pay really close attention when you fall," he told him, "and you will be riding that bike in no time!"
And so, as he got back up on that two-wheeler, he began repeating this mantra out loud to himself, "Falling is learning... falling is learning... falling is learning..." He got up on that bike and after a few wobbley turns, my son was soaring all on his own! We cheered him on and I stood there, in awe of my beautiful little child's simple wisdom. Protected by his helmet, elbow and knee-pads, he faced his fear of being hurt by knowing that if he was, it would teach him. His desire to learn and have an adventure overcame his instinct to protect himself and stay "safe." This has since become a commonly heard story in my office with clients.
We can use my son's first bike ride to inform us on how to approach our challenges and adventures in life. Since that day, he has taken many spills -- most of them minor, but some of them more serious. Yet no fall has ever kept him down very long. He keeps learning and growing, and keeps getting back on his bike!
One extends one's limits only by exceeding them.
M. Scott Peck
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